School Reports
by Empress of the Eclipse
Summary: The Digidestined get their school reports and sneak off to open them before their parents. Much agnosing and laughter follows!


School Reports.  
By the Empress of the Eclipse  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.  
Ages - It's a year after Season 2 Digimon and my ages may be off canon but I don't care. Joe's 16, Matt, Tai and Sora are 15, Mimi and Izzy are 14, Yolei and Ken are 13 (I don't care about Ken's canon age (whatever it is) anyone who tries to claim he's the same age as Davis and Co. is wrong. He's well older!), Davis, TK and Kari and 12 and Iori's 11.  
It's short and fairly stupid. I wrote this when I was really, really bored and I take NO responsibility for it, what-so-ever! (unless it's good in which case, it's mine!) It's meant to be funny and probably is.  
  
"Now remember. You give your reports to your parents unopened," Miss Hirashi ordered.  
The class nodded like well trained robots, then ran when the bell went, already ripping open the envelopes to gauge the opinions their teachers had of them. Only Tai, Matt and Sora were resisting the urge.  
"Hey, aren't you opening yours?" someone yelled.  
"No," Tai said "We are too mature to care about everyone else's opinions."  
They strolled out together, met up with Izzy and Joe and walked down to where the younger Digidestined were waiting. They then trooped off to collect Ken who was waiting by his school gates. Together, they went into the park and settled down.  
"I bet mine's awful," Joe said "I can tell."  
"The reports are always awful at our school," Tai said.  
It seemed to be an unwritten rule in the school that no one but the best students got decent reports at Christmas but at Summer, they all got excellent ones (unless they were like Davis who got permanently awful reports.)   
"Right. Everyone swop reports," Davis ordered.  
Everyone did. They had all decided that it was okay to open them as long as they didn't do it themselves.  
"Okay," Davis said "On your marks.....get set......GO!"  
Everyone ripped open the envelope that they'd been passed. There was silence as they glanced over them.  
"I can't even read Tai's Maths teacher's handwriting," Matt said "Does anyone know what this says?"  
Ken glanced up.  
"It says 'Tai doesn't try at all'," he said.  
"It does not!" Tai spluttered indignantly.  
"Well it should," Ken said. He went back to reading Davis's report "Davis, have you even been attending your Physics class this year?"  
"Sure I have!" Davis said looking miffed "Why?"  
"It's just it must be physically impossible to do this badly and be attending," Ken said.  
Davis shrugged and went back to reading Ken's report which was consistently 'Excellent' 'Superb' 'Outstanding'. It was very boring.  
"I think it says 'Tai rarely tries and lacks the necessary concentration to complete a single sum'," Matt said, still deciphering Tai's report.  
"Good. Who wants to complete a sum anyway?" Tai said "TK, let's see yours."  
"I gave it to Kari," TK said, engrossed in someone's report.  
"It says that he's a diligent pupil but he lacks concentration," Kari said, handing it over.  
"Oh, that's quite good. For our school," Tai said, grabbing it and beginning to read through.  
"Well it's better than Joe's!" Sora said, looking hugely amused "His says that he's a very intelligent girl but he would do better if he concentrated more on work and less on his hair!"  
Everyone started laughing. Joe blinked.  
"You are joking!" he said.  
Sora handed it over. Joe read it and scowled.  
"I don't mind a bad report when it makes sense!" he said.  
"'Davis lacks the intelligence of a fieldmouse i.e. he doesn't even know to run away when danger threatens'," Ken read aloud "Isn't it illegal to write stuff like that? Slander or something?"  
Davis shrugged.  
"Can I swop?" he said "Ken's is boring. It just keeps saying what a wonder-boy he is all the time."  
Ken shrugged.  
"I can't help being consist - hey!"  
Everyone looked at him. Ken's eyes were shinning.  
"I've got an idea!" he said "Why don't we swop reports?"  
"Huh?" Davis said.  
"Why don't we swop reports? I'll Tippex out my name and teachers and replace them with yours. You do the same. Then we'll take home different reports and say they are ours! Your parents will be thrilled and mine will get a big shock! It'll be fun!"  
Davis's eyes were shining too.  
"That's great! Let's!"  
Ken grabbed some Tippex out from his bag and they began to alter their reports. The others watched them for a moment, then went back to their reports.  
"Yolei, yours says that you spend too much time worrying about your looks to achieve the results you're capable of!" Izzy said.  
Yolei gave an indignant squeak.  
"Well it's better than Iori's," she said "Iori 'spends all his time in a daze and doesn't seem to understand the meaning of forward planning'."  
"I do?" Iori said looking hurt.  
TK started giggling.  
"Listen to this one and guess who's it is!" he said "Blank is a hopeless pupil, only interested in their hair and the study of girls."  
"Matt!" everyone chorused.  
"No, Sora's!" TK laughed.  
"Wh-at!" Sora yelled grabbed the report "Where does it say that? Study of girls? What do you mean study of girls?"  
TK pointed helpfully. Sora scowled.  
"Great. My English teacher thinks I'm a lesbian," she said sulkily.  
"Ken and Davis, you two will never get away with that," Kari said "For a start, Ken doesn't even go to our school."  
"So?"  
"So, people might notice that the name of the school is different," Kari said.  
"No it's okay," Davis said "We've changed the schools. It's gonna work!"  
"Sora, why does your geography teacher say that you have all the charisma of a skunk?" Izzy asked, reading it over Sora's shoulder.  
"Because he hates me," Sora said crossly, still staring at the English part "I'm not sure why."  
"Matt, yours says that you're an vacuous pretty-boy with not enough brains to fill an egg-cup," Tai said, reading Matt's report.  
"Good," Matt said "It's better than last year's.  
"What was that?" Ken asked.  
"Last year, I was 'A bigoted little rodent who thinks that the sun shines out of his arse'," Matt said.  
"Oh that was Mr Taroto," Tai said "He left with a nervous breakdown. He was crazy."  
"I think he left because he wrote things like that on everybody's reports," Matt said "Still, vacuous pretty-boy. I'm moving up!"  
"Izzy, why is it that your report seems to think that you excel in all subjects except computer skills?" Joe asked.  
"Because I keep correcting the teachers mistakes," Izzy said calmly.  
Tai snorted.  
"I wonder if Mimi's got a good one in America," he said.  
"Doubt it," Ken said "Davis, pass me the envelopes."  
Davis obeyed.  
"Kari, your science teacher says that you lack all basic understanding of the subject," Iori said.  
"Huh," Kari said "Bloody cheek."  
"Tai, why is that all your teachers seem to think that you lack to basic concentration to do anything?" Matt asked.  
"I don't know," Tai said.  
"According to this, you aren't even any good at sports," Matt said.  
"WHAT!" Tai shrieked. He snatched it from Matt and scanned it in a panic "That can't be true, it can't!"  
"Nope. Just kidding!" Matt said happily.  
Tai swatted him and Matt ducked.  
"All done!" Ken said triumphantly "Davis, give me the envelopes."  
He carefully sealed them up again as best he could using glue. Everyone had opened their envelopes without tearing and now were sticking them up again.  
"Sora, let's exchange," Joe suggested "Then you can be the girl and I'll be the study of girls."  
"No way!" Sora said "Yours also says that you can't add up or spell!"  
Joe sighed. He shoved his report into the envelope and moodily handed it over to Ken who stuck it in an envelope and then handed it back.  
"This'll be interesting!" Davis said "It's gonna be better than Jun's, it's gonna be better than Jun's!"  
"Unless she's swopped reports with a genius too," Ken pointed out "Okay. See you lot tomorrow."  
"If we haven't all got killed by irate parents," TK said.  
Happily, the group all separated, clutching neatly sealed and 'unread' reports in their hands.  
  
The End. 


End file.
